Suicide Watch List (Part 1)

From The Marston Chronicles

We are witnessing the rarest thing you see in politics, a need for a political suicide watch list. It is very rare because few politicians are willing to commit political suicide by casting a vote that means they will lose the next election. Only tried and true ideologues do that. The strange thing is that ideologues are usually found in safe districts where they can vote their ideological convictions with impunity. Politicians in competitive districts can't afford the luxury of doing that. Yet here we are with dozens of Democrats seriously contemplating taking that leap off the ledge to a virtually certain political death.

The strangest thing of all is that several Democrats are teetering on the edge of the ledge outside their office and are announcing that they are definitely going to jump. The only thing we can do is to try and talk then down before they wind up bloody and smashed on the sidewalk below. There are 16 such Democrats that we need to try and save. The phone system at the Capitol is overloaded and it is hard to get through. Try faxing these 16 people before they do jump:

1. John Boccieri (OH-16) - He apparently believes that a 10.73% percent margin even though McCain-Palin carried his district by 2.61% will provide enough of an updraft to allow him to land safely on his feet. Please fax his suicide prevention hotline at 202-225-3059 and urge him not to jump.
2. Leonard Boswell (IA-3) - His suicide hotline fax number is 202-225-5608. No one is even trying to talk him off the ledge because they assume he is going to jump anyway even after injuring himself when he jumped last November. Explain to him that in a banner year for Republicans even a 14.25% margin is not good enough when Obama only carried his district by 9.37%.
3. Alan Grayson (FL-8) - He apparently believes that because he is the wealthiest member of the House, he can do as he pleases and just buy re-election like he bought his seat in 2008. Fax his number at 202-225-0999 and explain that all the money in the world will not save him if he jumps a second time.
4. Steven Kagen (WI-8) - Fax him at 202-225-5729 and explain that an 8.1% margin for both himself and Obama will not save him if he jumps again in a year like this one. Surely as a doctor he knows how much damage jumping will cause to himself and others.
   
5. Mary Jo Kilroy (OH-15) - Kilroy was here but will not be here next year if she jumps a second time. Fax her at 202-225-3529 and ask her why she is doing this when she won by a miniscule 0.76% in a great year for Democrats when this will obviously be a great year for Republicans. Obama will not be on the ballot to help her like last time.
6. Ann Kirkpatrick (AZ-1) - This poor woman actually thinks that because she got a 16.45% margin that she can safely jump. Fax her at 202-226-9739 and remind her that John McCain carried her district by 10.17%. Explain that she only got that margin because the previous Republican got caught with his hand in the cookie jar and that even the $6,000,000 she spent last time will not be enough to save her in a red state like Arizona this time if she jumps.
7. Dan Maffei (NY-25) - This deluded man thinks that because he is from New York, the fire department will be there with a safety net a second time. Fax him at 202-225-4042 and explain that since the fire department is short staffed due the economy, it cannot help him this time. Add that even a 12.94% margin just won't cut it in a year like this one.
8. Betsy Markey (CO-4) - Just because we talked her out of jumping last time does not mean we can save her if she jumps this time as she seems determined to do. Fax 202-225-5870 and ask her why she is so determined to do this when even John McCain carried her district. Tell her that you cannot support someone trying to commit suicide.
9. Patrick Murphy (PA-8) - This guy really needs help because no one is trying to talk him out of jumping a second time. Fax him at 202-225-9511 and warn him that former Congressman Mike Fitzpatrick is standing behind him ready to give him a shove. Remind him that Fitzpatrick only lost by 1,518 votes in a really bad Republican year which this year will not be.
10. William Owens (NY-23) - Surely he knows that he only got 48.35% of the vote last November because the Republican vote was split after the Party nominated someone even more leftist than him. Fax him at 202-226-0621to explain that Doug Hoffman is just waiting for him to jump a second time so he can attend his funeral.
11. Gary Peters (MI-9) - This is another second time jumper who risks as all by doing it again when he only got a 9.45% margin. Remind him that Obama pulled a lot more votes than he did in his district and that a margin of less than 10% is not considered safe in a normal year let alone one like this one. You might still save him by faxing 202-226-2356.
12. Chellie Pingree (ME-1) - This woman thinks all that Maine snow will break her fall. Remind her that both her Senators voted against this bill and she represents half their state. Point out that Obama got over twice the margin she did and that a 9.8% margin is not a safe margin in any year. You can fax her at 202-225-5590 and help her come to her senses before it is too late.
13. Mark Schauer (MI-7) - Does this poor man actually think a 2.31% margin will save him when Obama got over twice that margin? Fax him at 202-225-6281 and remind him he is already 10 points behind in a poll. He got away with jumping once but doing so a second time is the kiss of death for a man in the 10th most vulnerable district in the country.
14. Carol Shea-Porter (NH-1) - This woman must be a slow learner. She has already jumped once which resulted in the GOP targeting her for that vote so she wants to make sure she commits suicide this time? She has to know what the result will be when she is already 10 points behind in a poll. Fax 202-225-5822 and try dissuade her from doing this.
15. John Tierney (MA-6) - He has to know that Scott Brown campaigned against this bill and got 57.4% of the voters in his district to agree with him. What is he thinking? Fax him at 202-225-5915 and tell him you are a member of the Scott Brown brigade and just like you worked for Scott Brown you will work for whichever of three men wins the Republican primary if he jumps again.
16. Niki Tsongas - (MA-5) - She only got a 6.21% margin the last time she had Republican opposition. Scott Brown got 56.2% of the votes in her district and she is going to vote for this beast again? Fax her at 202-226-0771 and tell her you voted for Scott Brown for his opposition to this bill and advise her to wake up and smell the coffee.